Poems and Letters

Writings from Post-Abortive Women and Men who have attended Rachel's Vineyard:

Missing You 

I never imagined I’d never forget
I never dreamed I’d dream of you yet
A single decision made so long ago
A choice that changed me more than I’d know 

Ten fingers and toes, eyes, ears, and a nose
A tiny sweet baby who I’d never know
It should have been easy, I should let it go
It’s just my dark secret that nobody knows

 I pray you’re with God now who loves everyone
I pray I’m forgiven for what I have done.
I pray for all mothers and ask God’s sweet grace
That none of them ever make my same mistake.

 I pray God’s forgiveness, His peace in my heart
I pray I’ll be whole again, ready to start
Walking with God, taking care of the living
And doing a little of my own self-forgiving. 

I love you sweet baby, and I’m so sorry. 

- your mother

Sorrow
by Katrinka

 Out of the Light
into the night
I drift,
as wood in the ocean
I am consumed.
My eyes do not see
by ears can not hear
heavy with tears
shall I return.
Repentance of heart
give me once again peace
for my life depends on you.
My sorrow is my coat
let me not wear this coat any longer.
Cast not my sorrow from you
teach me some good from my sorrow.
Come to me, Lord, as I confess
In the Light,
bright at night
Standing firm as a mighty beam
I am renewed
Now I see,
now I hear
My pillow is dry,
my coat is lifted.
I am Forgiven.

Grieving
by Katrinka

I am sad beyond compare.
I can not feel or touch the joy I knew.
In my heart there is a huge tare.
I’m heavy with sadness,
no one knows my pain
flowing like floods of rain.
When will the healing begin?
When will I let it go?
I’m hurting for me,
it wasn’t what I wished it to be.
The blossoming flower, left alone.
God, my Father, has called her home.
So much undone,
so much unsaid
and all of this is why Jesus bled . . .
to heal the broken-hearted and bind up their wounds.
For a season I will grieve
A part of me is gone
and a part of me did grow
and now for others,
a deeper compassion I will show.
Thank you, Jesus.

Dearest Adam,

You are my child
sent from Heaven above –

Your sweetness and purity
resembling a dove.

We had to part for a
moment in time –

Our comfort being
our hearts intertwined.

With the eyes of my soul
I know you are well –

In the arms of His mother
who comforts us still.

Your Mother,
Geri